So I Turn 36 This Week...
/So I turn 36 this week. 😳
I don’t know about you, but birthdays bring with them a sense of reflection. I can’t not think about the year that has passed, where I was this time last year and everything that has transpired since.
In some ways, I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot. In other ways, not so much.
This time last year I was still writing, re-writing and self-editing Single Me.
This time last year I was hopeful that Thread Harvest was going to get investment soon.
This time last year I was living in a tiny studio-style apartment that I affectionately now refer to as the dungeon because, well, it is.
This time last year I was single. And I still am.
I have to admit that I have my moments where I hate talking about it. I know all these blogs posts and writing a book and creating “challenges” and stuff might give the impression that I love it. But I am not superwoman and I figure this is a safe enough space to be honest. It’s my blog – if I can’t be real here, where can I be!? 😂
The reason I talk about it is that very few people are doing so in a helpful and constructive way and I want to help single people not feel the lack and disappointment that I struggle with. Especially on a birthday.
So here are some thoughts I have about celebrating birthdays when you’re single….
Acknowledge how you are feeling….and don’t expect anything more.
If I have learned anything since my birthday last year it’s to embrace how I’m feeling and let it run its course. This too shall pass. Don’t expect yourself to be all joyful because you think it’s expected of you.
Don’t have high expectations.
I talk a lot about expectations in my book and I’m not against having them. I think, however, that if we get fixated on how we think something should turn out, we miss the beauty of letting it unfold and going along for the ride. So, plan for it to be a day full of love and blessings, but don’t expect it to be the greatest day of your life. It could very well be. But holding it loosely means you’re open to finding all the ways the day just might surprise you.
Let your friends and family love on you.
Your friends and family want to celebrate you. Let them. Let them drag you out, shower you with drinks and gifts and toast you. You’ll be glad you let them when you’re thinking back on this birthday.
Make it about your friends and family.
I am mad for grazing platters. I love making them and I love grazing on them. So last year I set up a 2.4m long grazing platter for my friends and we stuffed ourselves silly for a few hours. There were 12 different kinds of cheese, 5 different dips, 7 different types of crackers, 4 different types of meat and a lot of chocolate, fruit and nuts. We sat under the unusually warm afternoon sun and laughed and drank and enjoyed the moment. It was one of the best birthday’s I’ve had because it was about serving people in my world who I deeply care about. I loved it. My encouragement is to look to serve your friends and family. The joy on their faces will bless you.
Treat yourself.
Make sure you treat you. I always struggle with this one because I’m always telling myself that I could use that money for my business or to go on a holiday but the truth is I worked hard for those dollars and I deserve to buy myself something nice for my birthday. I have no idea what that will be this year 😂 but I will think of something!
Do something you love doing.
Birthdays should be about embracing what you love. So make sure you get out and do something you love doing. This could be kayaking on the harbour or doing an art class. For me it will be brunch at one of my fave cafes and a walk along the harbour foreshore.
Pray.
Not for your future husband or wife. Spend some time with God praising him for all the ways he has blessed you over the past 12 months. Thank him for the ways he has shown his love and kindness towards you. The ways he has delivered on the things you asked for and for the things he has saved you from. The way he as comforted you in your lowest moments and raised you up to your highest. The way he is consistent. The way he loves you. The way he extends his grace to you.
The point of it all is this – you can choose how you perceive turning another year older. You can choose to look at what you lack, or you can choose to see all you have. It’s your choice.
***
Here’s how I spent my day…
Expectations coming into this day were pretty low because of Covid. But I had brunch at my favourite café with a friend who came all the way from regional NSW to visit me. An impromptu coffee with another friend followed by a nap in the sun. Then a big walk along the beautiful Sydney harbour foreshore. Now a glass of red and waiting for my other friend to arrive for a spontaneous catch up over some yummy take away. Tomorrow night I’ll see some more friends, another walk Saturday afternoon and then a catch with some church friends on Saturday night. All of which I could never have even thought about 3 weeks ago when we were in such restrictions.
I have truly loved this birthday so far, for all the planned ways and the not so planned ways. I have felt so blessed, loved and celebrated by the people who are in my world today, rather than focussing on someone who is not (yet). It’s all about how you look at it.
If you’re stuck for a few ideas on how to celebrate, download my Top Ten Suggestions on how to spend your birthday single.
